Memory, biologically, lives within the gaps of neurons. We call these gaps synapses, and when an electrically charged atomic particle moves from one neuron to the other, it drives the human body towards an action. When the human brain strengthens or weakens the synapses, it allows the neurons to experience something new. Due to evolution, emotions develop within these gaps and they stay in the neural circuit. These experiences run through the brain in the form of electricity. The first law of thermodynamics says that energy can never be destroyed. It simply changes its state. Electricity is a form of energy and so, the emotions in our brain outlive several other impulses developing in other organs of our body. The collection of emotion becomes our memory.
The Crossover Between A Simple Life And Memory
In a simple life, people cherish their existence by keeping memory in the forefront. Even when nothing extraordinary is happening in life, people alter the core of one particular memory to give it the shape of an imagination. While writing fiction, most writers concentrate on the parts where a memory takes birth. They pressurize those points to then develop either a similar kind of story or an analogous situation to give the memory a larger space even when in the story the plot is restricted to a particular geographical location or a singular life. Vinod Kumar Shukla’s novel A Window Lived in the Wall, translated from the Hindi title Diwaar Mai Ek Khidki Rehti Thi by Satti Khanna, is one such story where memories of simple instances germinate into a magical imagination. It is where perhaps the synapses became wild and shot more electrons to let memory override the writer’s preliminary intention. Only then did the growl of his imagination receive clarity.
Simplicity has always been the key proponent of Shukla’s poetry and prose. But what makes a simple world of an individual glorious? The entities which blanket its general, monotonous and mundane parts or moments. Therefore, in the Ben Stiller directed film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, when the protagonist’s desire to meet his idol takes him on a ride of magical realism, as the audience, we think of his actions as ‘non-sense’. But, at the same time, we also get to understand that when he is climbing the Andes, or swimming the Pacific Ocean, he is nudging the elements of his interior self. He wants the meeting to be a memory which he can carry throughout his life, and so he is asking his neural circuits to develop those worlds where there is a possibility of meeting his idol. So, in this simple desire, memory is both the passenger and the driver. It is making the protagonist imagine foolish stuff, only to give itself a meaning to his mind.
In the course of regularity, we embrace components and qualities that make us distinct. References are taken from the tiny moments of this one life that we want to submit before death without any regret. Memory is born every second to induce inside us fear, joy, contentment, delusion, propaganda, and ghosts of unconscious times. Some may refer to it a stretch of imagination. Others may consider it a signature of meaningful times when being meaningless is a trend and a clever way to stay safe. Raghuvar Prasad, the protagonist of Shukla’s novel, surrounds his figure with elephants before his newly wed bride. He, being a middle-class mathematics teacher of a rural town college, knows his limitations and the monotony of his life. In the story, Shukla speaks about his efforts to give meaning to his simple life. As the novel progresses, we get the idea that simplicity too gives space to a person’s self, its identity. One just has to crave. One has to experience hunger. Raghuvar’s emptiness is followed by fulfilment. His contentment is a seed of his imagination. Shukla wisely lures readers towards simplicity but makes a big commentary on the purpose of life.
Grief Placed On The Bed Of Memory
In times of grief, we go through several phases. The first is denial wherein we choose to not confront the origin of the emotion. It is attached to memory on a surface level. But even then, the surface itself has a core and the string is tightly bonded to it. So, even if we are in denial, memory plays a substantial role in both maintaining the phase and keeping us at a certain distance from the stage. In the second phase, we express what grief releases from its invisible body. Anger can only call itself reasonable and appropriate when we bring out the pieces attached to our memory. Thus, in times of anger, the hormones touch what lies in the synapses to make it intense. Bargaining is the third phase and there we become a little less volatile and so the memory lies in the subtext. We mostly project its existence using our bodily behaviour. Depression, being the fourth phase, visits memory thriving within the constricted walls of our subconscious. And so, we remain unaware of the reason behind the depression. At last, comes the moment of acceptance wherein we become one with our memory and like nature, we adapt with its bits and pieces to stay content.
Ocean Vuong in his debut novel On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, establishes memory by writing about all these phases from the point of view of his protagonist. The novel basically is an accumulation of letters written by a son to his mother who cannot read and in all those letters, every word is a substance of memory. When a person does not meet one’s expectations, we either figure out a way to live with it (like the protagonist of this novel does), or we project our anger in several ways because of what remains incomplete. Memory, herein, is a method that the son utilizes to keep his mother relevant before a world where most mothers remain unrecognized and unacknowledged. The instances which the protagonist tries to imbibe in his mother are of the past and yet, like always, he knows how the bruises of the past have the capability to awaken the present.
He has accepted his mother’s inability to read, but by spilling what he feels, he is also moving towards the phase of acceptance. In memory, we are growing inside our mind and in the cerebellum, addressing the most grotesque and beautiful elements of existence becomes easy. The protagonist is simply releasing the weight of his heart but is conscious that he cannot push it towards his mother. So, he leaves them on the body of the letters. Memory, in this novel, outlives both the characters, and through the letters, it adds a narrative which relaxes Little Dog (the protagonist) and plays the symphony of future where newness is simply a stretched cloth of the past. The only choice Little Dog gets is to limit his pull so that the cloth stays intact and, at the same time, succeeds in releasing what has been gnawing him from inside. A choice which he must accept to share his vulnerabilities and moments of understanding by any means without thinking of the consequence. In this novel, memory is a character in itself which underplays and hence, remains invisible to naked eyes of this conscious world. The only way to grow around the spring Little Dog’s memory is by freeing our heart and mind to experience the conversations between him and his mother. What we get to receive is the chaos of memory and the freedom of its growing wings.
War Is Fought On The Grounds Of Memory
The human civilization has always worked towards building peace but is addicted to war since it gives us a dose of power and ego. Violence channelizes ego of those who have power and buries the sanity of a developed species under the pile of lies. Eliminate propaganda and most wars of the past and present would make us feel ashamed of both us and our ancestors. The aftermath of a battle is found on the relics of the memory of those who fought and the ones who accepted their defeat because of their helplessness. Trauma exists only because of the ghosts of our memory. Lose memory and what would remain with us is nothing but a visual of the present that although has the vibe of the past yet is far away from reality. Every document on wars is a seed of memory.
Colum McCann’s epic novel Apeirogon, speaks about the conflict between Israel and Palestine from the perspective of two friends from two countries who have lost their kids because of the conflict. Battles are fought between power hoarders who disagree with each other, and then they manipulate their followers to justify the act of violence. To fuel the conflict, people in power use memories of the past (history) to create a narrative. Based on that particular segmented memory, most of us proceed towards justifying disturbances only because we want to satisfy those who are superior to us. An effort that leads us to a chaotic pleasure. In this novel, Rami and Bassam bury the chaotic memories to remember their kids by taking out the memory of togetherness. It is not unusual since personal loss has historically driven human beings towards bringing a change in perception. Memory, in this novel, is not the primary substance but it acts as a catalyst to speed-up the reaction that is attached to our thoughts after a certain kind of loss. In a war, memory is an unsung hero and a cursed villain. The former keeps the past alive. The latter dries up hearts, tortures the mind.
“Rami: Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I have begun to change myself.”
During moments of crisis, the immediate reaction of every human being is to create something that is larger than life. A revolution is one of them. The Bolshevik Revolution, The French Revolution, The Revolution of the HSRA, The American-Indian Revolution – all these are creations of young bloods and they brought change on a macromolecular level. With time, when memory starts to sink into the core of our minds, we only try to bring micromolecular changes only because of the strength we want to consume so as to not lose the beads of the memory that live within us.
On a biological level, memory is an electrical impulse and it takes birth due to changes in the neural circuit. If we come out of the body and try to understand it from the perspective of a person who wants nothing but the skin of memory, then we have to say it is an entity we cannot comprehend by taking impulses in hand. We must transcend the known, real world and take a tour of the dimension that we usually do not visit. Our demons and gods live there and memory is bigger than their existence. They depend on memory to remain inside us. So, memory, on one hand, is a shot of electrons and, on the other hand, is a structure that has no beginning, no end; no death, no life.
Kabir Deb is a poet, book reviewer, banker and editor from Karimganj district of Assam. He currently works as the interviews editor of Usawa Literary Review. When he is not working he loves to be pampered by his dogs. He is also the recipient of the Reuel International Award of Poetry and Nissim International Award for Best Upcoming Poet.
