Carrying an illness

Feel how much larger the world is when you are alone. – Tishani Doshi
I stand on the edge of
the shore, looking at the sea
wondering how far
I have come and
how far I am meant to be

I am trying to find words and images to explain my loss

but I am out of words
and I carry images
in my memory
images of who I was
and how it changed
with one single
disease.

I used to be pure
and protected- I couldn’t
even lie properly!

Umm, this is just some allergy,
I recently got this,
I think it’s a side-effect of corona

the other knew right away
what it was, they did not
have anything to say
or ask of me

Neither did I.
Nor do I.

The waves gushing over
each waiting to listen to
parts of my story
from the silence within me

my memory fades into
the space where the
sea and sky meet

The sea now
carries my secret,
emptying me of my illness

I feel naked-
an azure sky
carrying the color
the sea gave me.

Rohee Dholakia is an Educator based out of Ahmedabad. She is working with Tide Foundation as an Executive Director and is also a Life-skills Trainer for other NGOs. Her work has been previously published in an anthology titled Kontinental Tales. She is a member of “The Quarantine Train.”