‘there are no poems’

    (a tribute to the poetry of Alok Dhanwa)

    there are no poems for
    the mother who didn’t
    have her stomach
    sutured after
    they extracted her unborn
    tumour,
    afraid she would birth
    yet another fragile small mouth, filled
    with a thousand
    sharp-edged questions that
    might erupt
    like puzzled saplings through the
    blood-soaked earth,
    quite like the three who came before
    her, and now lie rotting
    in the same masculine mud.

    there are no poems for
    her who,
    had she lived,
    would have whiplashed endless
    ‘why’s
    with her furious tongueless mouth,
    her circumcised soul
    the size of a curse that
    a species cannot endure.

    there are no poems about
    the slithering fear
    they carry coiled inside their
    military hearts;
    fear with forked tongues,
    forked as forceps
    that extract any and all
    future ‘why’s
    that may dare to doubt
    the absence of poems in this land.

    there are poems though, written
    in prisons
    about good men in cages
    quietly living out
    unjust sentences,
    as if forbearance were
    Man’s greatest virtue,
    no matter how many others
    beyond those cages –
    imprisoned in
    skins whose shades start wars –
    were made to snag
    on battle-tank chains,
    torn to abstractions, their
    histories littering the gutters outside
    those prison walls like the shadows
    of untrod snakes.

    there are no poems though
    about those men who
    chose instead to
    blow up prison walls.

    poems, although much longer,
    are wishless before bullets;
    a poem may pierce, but cannot kill;
    poems can stand silently
    like rifles in corners;
    like their shadows;
    like their cold long iron penises
    which spray angry hate into
    the women they kill
    when their bullets run out;
    like the dead wood in their butts
    that once throbbed with moss
    and arched to greet
    the first rain
    but have now been polished to a place
    where no trace of life can
    taint them.

    poems can stand silently
    but do not wish to.

    my poem would like to greet you
    the way a furious matchstick
    greets a river of oil.

    there are no poems for fires
    started this way.

    but if there happen to be one or two
    they will have leapt
    into their own fires unwilling
    to outlast them.

    there are no poems that stand
    as shrines to the self-immolated;
    words dream of being embers,
    not ash.

    i carry your poem
    in my hand
    it was carved here like a road
    it was to take us somewhere

    i carry your poem
    on my shoulders
    like her father would have
    that little girl
    had she been birthed

    i carry your poem
    around my neck.
    my chest is words
    read by those who understand my tongue.
    i met one who didn’t.
    she stared at me with fear.
    our skins were not the same shade.
    i felt the urge to reach for a knife then
    since she would never allow me to
    kill her with your poem.

    there was a poem i
    wrote once that
    stood defiant
    before an atomic sorrow.

    i waited
    for one of the two to explode,
    hoping to go down with it;
    but instead yet
    another unsuspecting
    geographical boundary somewhere
    shivered, and changed shape,
    including a new poem on one side,
    excluding a familiar one on the other.

    there are no poems
    for those who cease to belong
    when boundaries change
    this way.

    ‘breach’

     

    you touch my skin
    a riot breaks out inside of me
    shutters drop
    sirens wail
    my eyes call a curfew
    still, you climb my fence
    get shot on sight.

    ‘after the quake’

     

    my body can withstand
    an earthquake
    if it is your ribs
    that cage its
    epicenter

    my bones might
    crack like your laughter

    my eyes will turn
    into whirlpools
    muddied by four
    letter words
    spat from your tongue

    my spine might recoil
    bending away,
    yet unable
    to distance my mouth
    enough to
    save it from being
    filled
    by the aftertaste of your
    doubt

    i could lick the tip of
    my finger,
    slip it between your ribs
    trace the elastic curve of bone
    swirl through your catching breath
    and eclipse
    your quake

    but my body
    can withstand it
    so i refrain

    you are torn as you rain
    tortured as you thunder
    turning into a torrential
    drumming on the skin
    of my soles

    my finger hovers now
    tasting your wind
    for a change in direction

    but you
    you are steadfast
    like a hot needle sliding
    into cold flesh

    i say i can withstand it
    but as you uncoil
    i shift in my soil
    and turn into a tremor
    that turns into a quake
    that erupts as a tree
    which explodes into a flower
    unfurling its tongue into
    your epicenter
    where another earthquake
    slithers viciously awake
    and asks me if i
    would tell it a sweet lie
    to satisfy it.

    ‘between the spider’

    (a tribute to MF Hussain)

     

    in the neighbourhood
    of your breath
    i have traveled close and far

    our lips have moved
    dunes, shifting

    a bird across the sun
    became my hand fluttering
    painting a thin shadow over
    your lips

    under that shadow
    your words were horses
    naked, riding your breath
    till their legs became a blur

    we exhaled a spider
    its web froze into
    a star

    in the neighbourhood of
    your breath i have traveled
    close and far.

    ‘what do i do with you’

    the seat next
    to me is vacant
    if you’d
    bought a ticket you
    could be here now

    two rows up, across the aisle
    a little girl plays chess

    must be
    her first ever game
    her bishop
    stands where her knight
    should be

    now the knight moves
    diagonally
    across the squares
    off the board
    and into this vacant seat

    the little girl, she turns
    to me, says
    ‘check.’

    you don’t need a ticket
    the train’s leaving
    this station now

    faces outside this window
    become a blur
    as the game speeds up

    you’ll find
    me in a black square
    that’s if you come looking

    i’ll move
    vacate my seat for you
    sometimes the ticketless
    are destined to journey

    if you look two rows up, across the aisle
    the little girl will
    be making advances with
    her castle

    she’s changed all the rules

    but you can stay
    for the ride.

    Excerpted with permission from the publisher.

    Publisher: Poetrywala Paperwall

    Devashish Makhija has written and directed the full-length award-winning feature films like Joram, Bhonsle and Ajji along with numerous other short-films. He is a multi-practice artist. He has his own solo art show ‘Occupying Silence’ and is a prolific writer, having written the bestselling children’s books ‘When Ali became Bajrangbali’, ‘Why Paploo was Perplexed’, ‘We are the Dancing Forest’, and the multiple award-winning YA novel ‘Oonga’.

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