TO LOSE EVERYTHING

My journey began with a pair of high-heels –
the first thing I saw as she stepped out of her Jaguar.

Slick and poised, the lady called herself Madonna,
always bought something when she visited my stall.
Smoking a pipe she would smile, watch me haggle.

She took me under her wing, spoke of worlds
beyond my dreams – London, Paris, New York, Berlin.

I am from a small village with a handful of houses,
where everybody knows everybody else’s business.

As children we never had enough, always wanted more.
Was it so wrong? She gave me gifts – silk stockings,
shoes, scarves, dresses – made me feel special.

Father wanted me to marry a decrepit landlord,
young men these days work and settle abroad.
Life stretched out like an endless dirt road.

One night I left, thinking of making a fresh start.
Some parents give their children roots, others wings.

How would I know there’d be so many men lusting
after the same thing every day, never a day of rest?
The bosses raped us when we slept, even when we bled.

Men are the worst of all animals. And that woman
who traded me into a life I wouldn’t curse my enemy
with, what punishment would be right for her?

When the police arrested us, I was not worried.
They sent me to hospital, finally the pain stopped –
but the tempest in my mind kept raging.

Abandonment is a deep, dark ocean of hurt –
none you can trust, none to offer comfort.

I believed in God, now I don’t know what to believe,
know how it feels to lose everything.